When Pop Makes You Blue

"Romeo, save me, I've been feeling so alone."

"I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend, lucky to have been where I have been.."

Who would have thought that my affinity for pop music would give me the blues? The aforementioned lines are from Taylor Swift (shut up) and Jason Mraz (judge if you must).

They're actually the part of my iPod that usually makes me happy, puts a spring in my step as I get off the bus ten blocks early to enjoy the walk along Riverside Park on my way home. But today as I was listening and packing for my trip (read: refilling my iPod for the flight to Tampa), I got really bummed out about the part of my life that remains for all intents and purposes, a failure. Dave and I decided to exit the pernicious arrangement we had and so now I'm dealing with the fallout from my break up without the emotional crutch. I like it better that way. Although, I wonder if healing without the aid of a crutch will have the same effect on my heart as it has on my foot. I sprained my foot a few weeks ago, walking in stilettos on the Lower East Side. That's the part of the city that has yet to be completely gentrified and potholes, even in sidewalks, abound. I fell, went to the E.R. where they told me to walk on crutches for 2-3 weeks. Manhattan is not a very handicap-accessible city and so that lasted a week. I've been told that the limp in my stride will become permanent unless I stop the occasional donning of heels and use the crutches again.

I'm sure the analogy is flawed for many reasons. Not the least of which is that Dave is not an inanimate object. He's my friend and a good one. I loved the idea of falling in love with one of my friends. But it's never felt right and this time it didn't either. Oh well. As I reassessed things and soaked up the warmth of the sun in the park yesterday I felt my blackberry buzz in my purse. It was an email from a lawyer I had met about a month ago. "How are you, ace?" Here we go.

For inspiration in the ongoing dating wars, I refer to another line from the same song noted above:

"They don't know how long it takes, waiting for a love like this."- Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Caillat