Perception is Reality

If perception is reality, then is it possible to perceive blatant failure and humiliation as an unnecessary rebuke? Maybe this email I received from the admittedly ugly yet marginally sexy guy who lives in another state, doesn't get out of bed all day (he "works from home"), and only calls me after 9 p.m. PST because he doesn't have daytime minutes on his calling plan; is actually his way of pushing away the love of his life. Because if that's not the case, I'm a bigger loser than I thought.
Here's an edited version (I took out tangential details that spare no humiliation but are esoteric to you). This was in response to an email from me attempting to be "light and airy" but then demanding to know why I hadn't heard from him in two weeks:

hey,I know it's been a while since we've spoken. I've been super busy (blah, blah, blah). When I'm not busy with that stuff I'm usually doing work for Kaiser or sleeping...usually sleeping.
I started to read this email thinking, "wow, this is actually a "normal"email, no over analyzing, no negativity, no histrionics, " but then I got to the second half. Granted it has been a while since we've communicated, and we did go from one extreme to the other; I think partly due to the fact that it's a super busy time for me, and partly not wanting to dealwith these "talks". I had picked up the phone to call you several times, but then I realized it would just be another "one of those"conversations...and honestly I just didn't have the time nor the energy todeal with it. I realize that's harsh. Then I asked myself why don't I have the time or enegy to deal with it and I came to the conclusion that I justdon't have the same feelings that you do.At this point it just seems like you want something more out of this relationship than I am able to give. I'm not at the point where I feel like calling or writing everyday or even every week. I'm just not. I'm sorry. Ijust don't feel the same way that you do. That doesn't mean that I don't care about you, just that my involvement is at a different level than yours. I really do enjoy the time we spend together, and I really do miss you, butin light of everything I really question our romantic compatibility.
THE END
OK, let's review. This was my FRIEND. Yes, I actually made the mistake of crossing the line with a friend because happily married former singletons always claim that's the best starting point. So much for that.