Weltschmerz

There is a word that perfectly encapsulates any given emotion. It's just a matter of discovering it. For instance, who knew that I was actually in a weltschmerz? That's what hit me like a ton of bricks and weighed me down like an anchor in a deep lake of remorse when I found out that Mo had not only found someone else to date him but that she was attractive, smart and into him?! Behold, weltschmerz \VELT-shmairts\:*1 : a mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state 2 : a mood of sentimental sadness
But today as I drove down the Las Vegas Strip on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon to meet one of my best gal pals, it occurred to me that it had lifted. Even as I stood in the beautiful Bellagio atrium where my ex-husband had haphazardly proposed, I felt no pang of nostalgia, not tug of tormented what-if's? And when I drove through the Nevada mountains, over the Hoover Dam, I made a point of stopping at the scenic overlooks because that's what life is. The scenic overlooks. I wax poetic and promise that just as soon as I gain the fodder for folly, I'll wax sardonic once again.

lucie monday

It occurred to me that I didn't give the 411 on the 'text-saver' girl a.k.a. Lucie. After I had developed a crush on hot printer guy, I went to a party for a work colleague. Too much wine led to that giddy feeling I get right before I unwittingly blurt out potentially dangerous information to virtual strangers (I once told a girl I had two orgasms while waiting in line for the bathroom at a bar. Innocuous? I turned to face the boyfriend-elect, i.e.elected but not yet in office, who was not the purveyor of the big O, yeah, UGLY. Anyway, on this occasion, the mixture of alcohol and opportunity resulted in the acquisition of info regarding hot printer guy. HPG was a player, said Lucie and to prove it, she whipped out her cell phone and showed us text messages he had sent her... IN JUNE! At first we were alarmed that HPG would go for Lucie but then we realized we should be equally alarmed at the fact that she had been saving his texts, harmless banter, for five months. Anyway, that's what he meant by "Lucie Monday all over again" in the previous post.

Today I spent the day with my friend Frankie who was visiting from Denver. She brought her friend from Seattle and we literally shopped til we dropped although I was more than a tad annoyed when everything I grabbed at Century 21 ended up being $299.99 as opposed to $29.99. Retail therapy just isn't doing it for me lately which could mean that I have everything I need- NOT- or I'm growing up- doubtful- or possibly, that I'm just plum bored of shopping (GASP). On one hand, I'm grateful for the quietude afforded in the absence of male drama. Yes, despite the HPG posts that appear to consume me, they're not nearly the caliber of high jinx and angst supplied by the emotionally unavailable men I usually find. I currently don't have male companionship. No one is calling or texting, emailing or asking me out. It's the fleeting moments of serenity I should use for self-analysis but I'm just too tired. Tired of thinking, tired of beating myself up for being too (choose one) honest, neurotic, needy, angry. Anyway, this post is getting a bit too introspective for a blog that's intended to serve as comic relief. And as the sad clown cried, the crowd roared with laughter...