Daily Dilemma

Every single day there's a crisis of indecision that paralyzes me. Around midday, when everyone starts heading to the office kitchen or out to lunch, I'm consumed with angst and confusion about what to eat.

Don't laugh and don't roll your eyes. No deep sighing either! It's true. It's become an ongoing issue that Larry feigns deep interest in. My missteps at the salad bar are legendary. I'm known for being the dumbass who told the guy at the deli to put blue cheese on my salad then top it with raspberry vinaigrette. And for some reason, it doesn't matter how much I spend. Even when I splurge which in midtown means $10 for a burger or club sandwich and fries, I'm still disappointed. I'm not a picky eater either. It's just bad luck. Panini or pasta, salad or soup, chances are I'll be dissatisfied leading me to pathetically shrug when Larry asks, "Did we enjoy our lunch today?"

Today I opted to be a sandwich engineer at the deli and specifically asked for the bread and condiments for my grilled chicken sandwich. After I ate most of it, I threw away the rest announcing to no one in particular, "That was OK. Not great. Not awful." Steve-O, that's really my coworker/friend's name because his last initial is "O", looked at me and deadpanned, "I get that all the time."

Steve O takes self denigration to new lows. Often, he'll pretend to sexually harass me only to end with his favorite line, purring, "I can disappoint you in so many ways."

Summer Sidling

I love words. LOVE them! In fact, when I was at student council camp in high school (shut it), we had to do this esteem-building exercise where everyone sat in a circle and we each took turns stating a talent or skill we possessed. Everyone talked about their athletic prowess or artistic talent. When they came to me, I proudly shared that I had the ability to absorb new vocabulary quickly and put it to use almost immediately (read: NERD). And then people wonder why I didn't have my first kiss until freshman year in college.

But in the course of authoring this blog, there have been moments where I have basked in the warm sunshine of my sprachgefuhl. No that's not a typo- it was the word of the day. Behold: \SHPRAHKH-guh-fuel\ noun: an intuitive sense of what is linguistically appropriate.

The love pariah is feeling very sprightly on this Monday. One reason is the weather. It's not exactly warm in New York City but it's sunny and that sure beats the crap weather we had through most of April. Secondly, this weekend I made some new friends. All boys and all fun (see doctored photo). When I was in college, I had my close girlfriends but also a posse of boys that I hung out with platonically. I miss those days. There's something about playing wing woman to a man that's both empowering and endlessly entertaining. Especially if the guy who's back you've got is hot. In this case, there's potential for more but I'm not inclined to ruin what could be the ingredients of a perfect summer for the instant gratification of hooking up with an accessible hottie.

Isn't that always the case? We want what we can't have and when what we thought we wanted is right under our nose, we're ambivalent. In fact, I'm not even ambivalent. More like blase about all of it. But guys are so much cooler when you're not playing the dating game. For instance, two of them followed up with both phone calls and text messages after we hung out on Thursday. Then we went to dinner and out dancing until 3am on Saturday. On Sunday, again more texts thanking me for a great time and asking that I email all the pics. Interesting. There's something to this. Let me ruminate about it all and I'll return with some interesting and/or simply amusing observations. Prediction: it's all going to go to hell in a hand basket when one of the guys sleeps with one of the girls in our newly formed social partnership.

It All Started

Because I had an ax to grind. This blog started because I was frustrated and had something to say. I thought someone might care to listen to my rant. I was surprised to learn that there were a lot of people who did.

So it doesn't make sense for me to self-censor which is what I've been doing in the wake of my falling out with a certain person who isn't worthy of any more attention here. Or anywhere else in my life for that matter.

Some of the things I write are devoid of any real analysis. But when you're blowing off steam, which is what a lot of these entries are, there's no time or room for self-reflection. And yet, there's plenty of that here, too.

Last night at the end of the Spiderman 3 (yes I'm going to refer to it like the poetry it's not- get over it) Peter Parker notes that we all have a choice and when faced with a crisis of character, we should choose good over evil. I love Sam Raimi who directed this film. This was a random post typed in bed before I started my week. Now I'm getting up and going to work.