Angst-ridden

THIS is WHY I'm happier without a man in my life!! Tortured by doubts and nagging misgivings about this whole experiment in a "healthy" relationship, I had been wanting to soothe my anxiety by talking to Boston. He seems to have a calming effect on me. But, as fate would have it, he's been locked in a marathon edit for three fucking days!!! And in the absence of the instant gratification of contact, I've been forced back into my henpecking ways. Last night, he sneaked out to give me a quick call and I told him I needed to talk to him. He suggested this morning. "No, I'm at work." Then he suggested we speak in the evening. "Fine," I said while sighing severely. He didn't take the bait.
"OK, have a great day tomorrow," he said and hung up.

I had an enlightening session with my therapist today who pointed out that the fact that I wasn't shopping for a wedding dress wasn't really an indication that this was all wrong. She pointed out that I was actually behaving "normally", a concept completely foreign to me. "It's natural to question something when it's so new, you don't always have to live in extremes." Easier said than done especially when I've been anointed the Drama Queen by more than one friend and have shown virtually no indication of abdicating my throne. So now you have the prelude to the text melee.

3:21 pm EST- R U busy?
3:28- Yes. Hi.
3:30- OK. Fine. (this is where Crazy makes her first appearance.)
no response.
4:19- I don't like u anymore (reverting to third grade)
no response.
4:30- Im kidding. Basically I'm having a conversation with myself...as usual. Let me know if you'd like to participate. (Here I'd like to point out that this is what I do when there's a lull in our IM-ing, but to be honest, this comment has no justification- it's rather pathetic.)
no response.
7:27- What time will you be free?
7:36- In mtg now. Then edit. then free
8:34- what time?
no response

Here's a response for me: STOP BEING PSYCHO! Now I remember how it was possible for me to be dumped by lesser men. It's like watching a train derail itself and head towards destruction... in slow motion. Christ.