Drunk Blogging

Sometimes it's necessary to blow off steam. I've accumulated enough this week to power a small locomotive. Tonight I went to a holiday party and had two drinks. That's all it takes for a light weight like me. Two kettel one and cranberries and I was well on my way to becoming an a-hole. Upon my arrival, I was greeted with the good news that I had been elected to the board which I was actually sweating prior to my mom's lump. That scare has pretty much knocked everything off my radar.

I met a really hot guy who was dressed to the nines, half Parisian and half Italian, "Bon soir, monsieur" but after talking to him for 20 minutes, I realized that his looks were inversely proportional to his intellect. I'm too blitzed to remember what they were, but he kept using words that didn't exist as if he were a pimp on the Jerry Springer Show. "We were conversating about it before she took off with my money!" Something to that effect but much more subtle. Almost subtle enough for me to overlook given his hotness but, alas, I am a bit of a nerd when it comes to words.

I left my tab open and my credit card at the bar. Then I called one of my friends to retrieve it on my behalf so I wouldn't have to schlep back to the West Village. Tomorrow night, I'm going to another Christmas party. HPG will be there but he's mad at me right now. This is interesting. He's annoyed with me because he offered to set me up and I accused him of "pawning me off" on someone else. His response was, "I give up." So do I! It's one thing to reject someone but then to have the audacity to offer to set them up is just, well, it's kind of embarrassing, no? I mean I haven't done anything to warrant deflecting my attention. Granted, finding your texts recorded verbatim in a blog can be a tad disturbing but he went looking for that information then opted to share it with his friends. Friends who include coworkers so now I look like a really big jackass to several AP's and PA's at the office.

I just sent Howard an email. It said, "Where are you?" Here's another question: who cares?! Do I really want to open that can of worms, right now? The answer is no but my rational side fails miserably when pitted against the drunken lush who has a "just add alcohol" directive connected with activation of obnoxious behavior. I don't think I should drink. This is very unbecoming. Shit. Where's my credit card?