Back in the Saddle!

The number of celeb sightings in my building coupled with my workflow coming to an abrupt halt is responsible for this blog entry. I won't bore you with the reasons why I haven't been blogging regularly but rather simply pick up where I left off. OK, it's been established that I become socially retarded when I spot someone famous. It doesn't matter if their A-list or D-list, yours truly has a tendency to embarass herself or worse, whoever has the misfortune to be with me at the time. I'm proud to tell you that the longer I live in New York, the more this touristy behavior diminishes.

This week, for instance, I've had a number of stars cross my path in my gym. I live in a Trump building so it's no surprise that celebrities live here but some of them I've never seen. Since I fired my therapist I've been seeing my personal trainer more often. I figured I might as well get toned physically while I continue to deteriorate mentally. I see Montel Williams in the gym all the time and quite frankly, it doesn't faze me because he's a pompous ass. I feel like telling him that his show sucks and his wife is a butter face but whatever.

So...no work really until January and this just happens to occur after the completion of my documentary. So I went from juggling a momentous project with client obligations to watching daytime TV. Why must my life function in extremes? Anyhoo, were it not for my unemployment, ahem, daytime availability, I wouldn't have this antecdotal evidence of my improved behavior.

Tuesday, I was working out with Joe, my trainer, at the same time as Bryant Gumbel and his wife. I was nonplussed. Then today, we were working out and a cute little woman walked in. Literally, little. She was about three and a half feet tall and pretty old. Joe gave her some lip about getting her butt in the gym more often. Joe knows everyone who works out as most of his clients live in my building. "You know I only come in on Thursdays," she retorted good-naturedly in a high-pitched voice. "Oh my gosh, how cute is that little old woman?" I said when she had left. "Two more," Joe said pushing the weight to make it heavier. "She's a munchkin," he said when I was done. I told him that wasn't very nice. "No, she's really a munchkin! She was one of the munchkins in The Wizard of Oz," he insisted and then to my horror he began marching in place and singing, "We represent the Lollipop Guild, The Lollipop Guild.." Stop that! I said knocking his marching fist down. "She can see you!" I hissed indicating the mirrored wall he was facing. "Really?" Joe said sarcastically. "She can barely see over her stairmaster." He was right. Her arms were fully extended as she peered up at the monitor and marched in place just like Joe had been doing moments before.

Five minutes later, a woman walks in who looks familiar. "Hello, Joe," she purrs. Jessica Rabbit! I'd know that voice anywhere! It was Kathleen Turner. "She has not aged well," I whisper to Joe as she mounts the stationary bike. Joe tells me she's sick and her medication makes her bloated. Then I felt as tall as the munchkin.