Congratulate me. Or, as my dad would say, "Conjulations." I have without a doubt hung on to my self-proclaimed title of "The Love Pariah." Yes, many of you will breathe a sigh of relief that the saga with Boston has come to a premature yet inevitable end. No one has to ask how this happened, a quick review of the past several entries should suffice as evidence.
Push came to shove, I was doing both, and he finally waved the white flag after seeing so many red ones. "You need to learn how to love yourself before anyone else can." He could seriously give my therapist a run for her money. But all kidding aside, I'm pretty bummed out. I thought Boston could deal with the drama queen. In reality (I hate that place) it's an order so tall, no man could fill it. And, I'm chastened. I take full responsibility for the neurotic behavior that pushed him away. So no more boo-hooing about Boston. No more waiting by the phone for any man to call! I just have to remind myself of how much smarter and together I was without a man in my life. Then I have to figure out why the hell I go from super-independent to super-needy at the drop of a hat and freak men the fuck out. No lectures, please, Boston took care of that. Everyone warned me. I asked for it. I've made my thorn-strewn bed and I will now lie in it. ouch!
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We all have a freak flag. Some of us just don't fly it at all times. You, my friend, put it out there. Boston was just blind to it all. And I think what makes all of this worse is the fact that he just didn't come out and tell you how it made him feel (guys are stupid like that). Not that it's easy to hear, but if a guy thinks you're clingy, he needs to SPEAK UP. If he truly is busy, he needs to make that clear - and not in smarmy texts. We're wired differently from boys. And they know this - it's often a punchline. Until guys like Boston learn to stop playing games (and saying "I don't play games" is the biggest game of all), we'll always think we're the problem. Everybody wants to be loved. And sometimes love hurts. You are smart and together - don't let some guy make you feel otherwise!
Love yourself and others will follow. :)
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