Vertical challenges

For some reason, Boston still likes me. He was unfazed by my shallow google search of Jermaine Dupre's height. He's very clear about how things are. "You're crazy and neurotic and I can deal with that but I can't deal with you being selfish." Selfish. That word is thrown around so liberally. I mean aren't we all selfish? You reading this blog is a form of entertainment (some days more than others) and that's a bit self-indulgent. Being self-indulgent can be construed as selfish.

His warning stemmed from an earlier declaration that I do expect men to pay for dinner on the first date. If, for no other reason, as compensation for the pleasure of my company. Wait, that makes me sound like a prostitute. It started with, "I'll buy you dinner on Saturday," before his arrival. "Of course you will," I replied.

I'm slowly getting past the height issue but remain in sabotage mode. For instance, tonight when he called me after a really long day, I blurted out, "You're not a bullshitter are you?" Freakshow. That's me. I was suddenly overcome with doubt about whether he was an up and coming filmmaker or.. full of shit. "Where is this coming from?" Boston always cuts to the chase. "I was just thinking that I don't know that much about what you do at this production company, I mean we've never talked about it." It sounds dumb now but at the time it sounded dumber. "Then ask THAT," he directed, did I mention he's a director? I concurred that I should be more direct and less shady about my inquiries in the future. I know some of you are rooting for Boston and are disgusted at my overt efforts to derail this love train but I'M TRYING!!! You can't expect me to deconstruct years of programming in one week. I'm used to men being myopic, insincere, and judgmental. Playing on a level field is a bit daunting.